WHY WRITE YOUR FINAL CHAPTER NOW
Why write your final chapter now
A good author writes their book from an outline. That outline may change over the course of the book as characters develop and new opportunities and challenges confront the characters, but there is always an underlying structure to return to. That’s how I view end of life planning. As the author of your life, don’t wait until you only have a few chapters left to figure out how you want your story to end. You are the protagonist and you should be directing the action throughout the story.
I recommend that you start your adult life with a sense of what your end of life priorities might be. They aren’t cast in stone, but there are certain questions to ask yourself as you embark on an independent life. Two of the most important questions are difficult to think about and often it helps to talk them out. The first is “who would you want making health care decisions for you if something catastrophic happened and you couldn’t make them for yourself?” The second is “what would I want those health care decisions to be and how do I talk with my chosen decision maker about what I would want?”
An end of life doula is a trained professional who is able to help you consider these questions and arrive at answers appropriate for your stage of life. An end of life doula is also someone who is trained to help you reassess your answers as your life circumstances change, for example, in the event of marriage or divorce, a change of job, and retirement.
If you are already reaching those final chapters, the good news is it’s not too late for end of life planning. The planning begins with the same questions, but in greater depth. “What if I am unable to make a decision because of a potentially reversible condition, like a stroke?” “What if I am unable to make a decision because of an inexorably advancing condition like dementia?” “Does my health care proxy really understand my priorities?” “Am I confident my health care proxy can make the same decisions I would?” “Should my health care proxy and I seek joint counseling from clergy?” “Would I prefer to die at home or in a hospital?”
Even if the first lines of your final chapter have been written, there is still so much that you can accomplish together with an end of life doula. Working with an end of life doula gives you agency over the final months of your life and helps you accomplish those final tasks you haven’t gotten to yet, tasks like reviewing your life and mending fences, writing an ethical will for family, finding a meaningful way to say thank you to cherished friends, resolving regrets, sitting with friends or family in a story circle to share and preserve memories, leaving a non-financial legacy, and even planning your own memorial service or writing your own obituary. Whatever your vision, let’s work to actualize it.
Services
- Initial Consultation
- Life Review
- Ethical Wills
- Legacy Projects
- Story Circles
- Rituals and Ritual Development
- Vigil Planning
- Sitting Vigil
- Respite Companionship
- Obituary Writing
- Planning Memorial Services
- Companioning the Bereaved